Bathe me in light

It’s been some time since I visited here.

Back in August, the time of my last post, as I ran wild along the rugged and raw California coastline,  I had already been handed the diagnosis. I knew what was coming my way as a result and so that time away felt even more of a gift.

Mine was of the “good kind of cancer” variety. Not minimizing or mocking that phrase as those who said it, meant it to comfort.  But months later, it still sits wrong with me. In September, I had my thyroid removed. No surgery is ever a breeze and I have had my fair share, so I say that with knowing wisdom.  One tiny, delicate cut at the base of the throat…the location, unnerved me more than I expected.  They removed a small tumor that, I’m told, didn’t want to let go. It clung to my vocal chord, residually leaving me without voice for nearly two months. Well, that’s one way to quiet me, for sure…;)  Even without words,  the mind still spins, you know…

The Autumn months were quieter as I took the time I needed to recover. Not easy, to slow this girl down especially since my business/work is one of my passions…But, in the studio, we slowed down, yes… to an ever so slightly slower beat. That gave me time to think, to reflect, to analyze. New directions and new ideas often come from a place of quiet and I look back now in gratitude for that time as we are on course in new ways that feel very right.  At home, I was wrapped even tighter in light and love. Family and dear ones took very good care of me…fed me well and kept me in flowers.

It’s taken time…  for my body to regulate sans thyroid, for my energy levels to stabilize, for my voice to return (that one…still, a work in progress;) I almost feel like myself again. Getting there, day by day.

I’m not always one to share my deeply personal things in a public way and rarely open that side of myself beyond my images and art… My struggles are mine.  But I felt it was time to share a bit more.  Hoping my words enlighten. Thank you for reading …~

14 thoughts on “Time…

  1. Dear Shell…

    You wrote some powerful words on this post…
    Some years ago, I went through some health issues (not the same kind as yours), but I also had to ‘disappear’ from social interactions and I had to stop painting and drawing… not necessarily because I had lost the desire to create, but simply, because I lacked the strength to do it. In time, I started to (over)think about my personal situation (like you I try to keep my world apart and avoid the necessity of talking about every personal detail of my life). If there’s something I learned (and I learned a lot about me and about the one’s around me) it’s that I didn’t really go anywhere; I simple took some time to take care of my health and to produce more. To sketch more. To create new ideas… each idea a true ‘work in progress’.

    I always feel very inspired by your art: which – long ago – I defined as very empathic! I feel very happy to learn that, even if slowly, your body & mind are healing. And with them, your desire to create is returning. And I’m sure that (hopefully) soon your art will reflect this new period of your life!

    I’m happy to read that during this period of rest & recovery, you had people surrounding you and taking good care of you. :-)

    Stay well,

    • Very kind words, José…Thank you:) I’m doing well… a lot of new art/design. Looking forward to what this year will bring. Best to you… Shell

    • I didn’t share it, until now. Still a bit unsure about doing so, but…the kindness is lovely and I am receptive to it in this moment. I do… am one very lucky gal. Warm thanks, Steve ~

  2. So happy to be reading this at the other side of your incredible journey.
    As someone lucky enough to call you a good friend but unlucky enough to live across the World and definitely too far for coffee and a chat… the distance felt like light years during your time recovering.
    I normally feel blessed as having the right word at the right time but lately I have felt like words were too small (or something!)
    Anyway… just to say… I’m so happy you feel more yourself and am so greatful to be here enjoyed by your beautiful art and heartfelt wisdom
    Love you to and your fab family – David x

    • It’s true D, you have always been there with the right word (or song:) and I have been grateful for that through the years. But in this case, the silence felt ok. No matter the distance, really, between friends who mean so much. Thank you for leaving word for me. Love to yours (all beautiful, through and through) as well ~

  3. Dear cousin, I’m sorry I did not know you were going through this. So glad you are on the other side of this ordeal and doing better. Thyroid meds take a long time to stabilize; try to be patient. I know I don’t need to tell you to be strong; you already are. Sending love and happy thoughts.

    • Thanks for the love, Meryl…. I didn’t share it publicly until now. Yes, the meds have been a challenge…Up/down/up/down but finally feeling my energy a bit more stable so I think we are finally in the right zone. xx

  4. Hi, I cam here via a pinterest pic of your work that I really liked. I read this post and thought I would share and give my support for what you are going through. I went through the same thing back in 2012, also with the “its the best kind of cancer to get” comments (which I think is pretty offensive, in my opinion – I mean its not like anybody gets to choose!!) So anyway, I love your work so I’m going to tag along if thats alright. Best wishes on your recovery, meds adjustment, and your work. :D

    • Lovely that you found me via Pinterest… Welcome! I appreciate your kind words of support… feeling more and more like my old self, thankfully. Glad you made it through as well:) Best to you ~

  5. Just passing by here.. Well that was a difficult one I suppose. Hope you’re back in balance now. Sending you my blessings. Johan
    Ps. You can discover my new blog about Formentera here whenever you have time.

    • Forgive… I have not been on this site for some time…just seeing your kind words now, Johan. Feeling good…better…. mostly back in balance;) Will check out your blog:) Thank you for leaving word for me…

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